Memory fades slowly, and thus, I have to write things down if I wish to look back. There are certain things I do not intend to forget for my entire lifetime.

Life wasn’t performative when I was young. There was nothing to prove or accomplish. I like it this way, a rather absorbing experience, rather than a quest. And these words remind me to allow my mind to live the life with a pleasant spirit, to experience this grand and mesmerising voyage it is. Negative thoughts can sometimes chain you, but do break free, and live this life with your spirits high. And when I say live, I do not mean achieve a milestone, become great, get a stable job so that you can be comfortable and can finally live more comfortably. No, you do not have to become something to live well. There is no prerequisite; there never will be. Do not let anything sink your spirits or enslave you. Ensure that, break free, and you will be able to experience this breathtaking journey. You can live now.

In the summer, I’d sit with my grandparents, leisurely, doing and talking about pointless things. It was enough. It is enough, now, the memory of it.

The food tasted great. The yard felt nice. The evenings looked beautiful. The ambience was mesmerising. Nature made it possible. There was something about my grandfather’s simplicity and genuineness that I continue to love. An interesting personality with knowledge of the world, a unique and wonderful perspective, a keen interest in things, and a life of experiences and adventures. There were a lot of things that made him, him, and I cannot put them into words. He was an adept swimmer, and we would go to the majestic river(that I sometimes sit by now), and I would fail to swim, while he would float effortlessly. He was well-read; his room was full of books. He gave me my first astronomy lesson. What a magnetic personality. My grandfather never ran after money; he knew life is an accumulation of experience, not material wealth, because there is limited time, so life is best lived, not delayed.

There are the kind of people who drain you of energy, and you avoid staying around them. Then there are other kinds of people who are fun to be with and recharge your spirit. He was the latter.

It is extraordinary. You’d think that you’d go around the world and perhaps someday meet interesting people who inspire you. I have met my share of people rich in experience and inspiration, and they continue to add to my life. But it amazes me that for the greatest gem, I didn’t have to look far; I was born into his house and, reportedly, raised by him for some years. He crafted toys for me to play with, told me stories, gave me life lessons, and fed me off his plate. I was the happiest.

I also remember him for his loving and caring nature. He loved our family beyond anything, and it was apparent in his actions. It was a house full of love when my brothers, cousins, and I would visit my grandfather. I like it more because it was a humble abode, and that makes me feel closer to the earth. I want to write about the afternoons spent together, so that I do not forget them. I will count on my memory; it hasn’t failed me so far when it comes to remembering details, and I hope it doesn’t in the future as well. My grandfather was a rare kind of person, very rare.

You’d think this world is full of beautiful places and people. True, it does have blinding lights, advanced technology, gorgeous nature and attractive people. I am not stuck in the past. However, given the choice to look ahead and live my life with someone I love, make my own world, I would give that away and choose a simple life with my grandfather in my village house. How beautiful it is that he didn’t need to have an empire for me to want to be his descendant, and that it is not property or riches that I cared to inherit, but his presence.

It is true, everything we need to live a fulfilling life, everything that matters, is not there up high, but on the ground, with us.

I hope this post reminds me that a reason that I can travel and live comfortably is also that my parents and grandparents worked hard to raise us and made their share of sacrifices and chose us over them. I cannot just toss this life away; there is more meaning to it than I think.

Now that I think about it, he knew how to make things interesting and live an interesting life. He would start his day with a walk in the early morning, and when he came back, he would eat a dish made out of flour, sugar and something else I do not remember now. He introduced me to it, and it was great. In the evenings, he had another routine to go play cards with his friends, and when he would come back, he would either eat sattu or roasted grains. We picked up that habit from him. He would spend his day tinkering with things or repairing them after he retired from his job.

I perhaps get it from him. I spend most of my life admiring and relishing the beautiful things, such as nature, evenings, wonderful and astonishing things humans and animals do, awestruck at what the human mind is capable of, exploring the reality of the cosmos, understanding how the universe works, learning things, and so on. I do not have bitterness towards things or grudges against people; I am too busy living. Perhaps my upbringing had a huge role to play in that. Then I get most of my traits from him. My family says I am a carbon copy of him, with the same physical traits, perhaps the same intelligence and values, who knows? I like to think so. This is why I don’t resent that he is no longer in human form.

Death doesn’t take someone away. They continue to exist, and I feel him present in the consciousness that makes this universe. I am the universe, conscious, and I like to think that we are not separate beings but one, non-dual consciousness that makes this universe. I continue to carry him in me, or perhaps I am him; the difference doesn’t really matter.